Chocolate Sheet Cake
Shitty weather, a breakout, a breakup, empty pockets, empty promises, your terrible boss, your terrible mood, screaming children, Covid-19, systemic racial inequality, Donald Motherf%$&ingTrump, there are a million reasons why you might need a little cheering up.
While chocolate cake certainly will not make any of those problems go away, it might give you a little comfort and a little pleasure. A little strength to fight a little harder. A little reason to smile. A way to share a little joy.
Just a little goes a long way.
LACTOSE-FREE CHOCOLATE CAKE
This is one of the best chocolate cake recipes out there. It can be made into cupcakes, a layer cake or a simple sheet cake; anything will feel indulgent slathered in this rich chocolate buttercream frosting. One special little detail is that the cake is lactose-free, because we suspect Vesper’s explosive trips to the bathroom are less just another quirky personality trait and more an actual allergy. The coconut cream can be substituted with buttermilk. Makes one large sheet cake, 2 9’’ cakes or a tray of cupcakes. (Scroll down for not-lactose-free buttercream recipe.)
1 3/4 cups (220g) flour
3/4 cup (65g) cocoa powder
1 3/4 cups (350g) sugar
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon fine salt
1 teaspoon fine espresso powder
2 eggs
1/2 cup oil
1 cup coconut cream (or buttermilk or a mixture)
1 cup hot coffee
Preheat oven to 350F/175C. Grease your baking pan(s) with butter or oil and parchment paper.
In a large bowl, sift together the dry ingredients (flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder, salt, espresso powder) making sure there are no lumps.
In another bowl, whisk together the eggs, oil, and the coconut cream or buttermilk. Add this mixture to the flour mixture and gently mix. Now add in the hot coffee and mix until all combined. It’ll be soupy, that’s ok.
Pour batter into pan(s). Bake in preheated oven for anywhere for 25 - 50 minutes, depending on the size of your pan. It’ll be ready when a toothpick inserted into the middle is almost completely clean, ideally with a few crumbs attached.
Allow to cool completely before frosting.
CHOCOLATE BUTTERCREAM
This sounds weird, but when I make frosting I just kind of wing it. These are all approximations but don’t kill yourself measuring everything out.
2 1/2 sticks (290 grams) butter, soft
3 - 4 cups confectioner’s (icing) sugar
3/4 cup cocoa powder (sifted)
a splash of milk or cream
Using a handheld mixer, beat the butter on medium speed for a full minute or two. Add in all the other ingredients and beat on low speed for 30 seconds. Do not over-whip. Add another splash of milk if it’s too thick, more sugar if it’s too runny.
Frost the cake only once the cake is completely cool. Frosting can keep on the counter for a bit or in the fridge for up to a week. Best used at room temperature.
